It’s the 4th of July, which means that it’s time for people to get pumped about all things American. There will be BBQs, cookouts, and family gatherings a-plenty — and we all know those come with a ton of situations you won’t want to be a part of. Some might even say you’d like to escape them.
See what we did there?
Uncle Kev Has Slugged One Too Many Mike’s Hard Lemonades
We all know Uncle Kev loves his Mike’s. But unfortunately it’s not even 4PM and he’s already on Mike #5. Which means by 6PM, he’ll be on Mike #10. Which means by 7PM, he’ll be in the pool with all his clothes on.
Your Vegetarian Friends and Meat-Eater Friends Go All West Side Story on Each Other
Cookouts can lead down a dark road if your friends have different ideas about eating meat. You could choose sides, but we all know it’d be a lot better to just get out of there before they start singing.
There Are No Dogs at the Party
Why do people even have parties if they’re not gonna bring dogs? What, am I supposed to talk to the people at this event?
People You Haven’t Seen in a While Keep Asking if You Have a S/O
No, Aunt Meg, I still don’t have a girlfriend, but thanks for the reminder. I definitely came to this BBQ to talk about my crippling loneliness, not eat a delicious hot dog.
What happened to Jenny, you ask? We broke up. In third grade.
Somebody in Your Family Can’t Stop Talking About Politics and You’re Just Tryna Eat a Dang Burger
Family gatherings are especially precarious these days, as there is always the group of cousins that voted the opposite way you did. They’re spending the whole day try to convince you that you voted the wrong way, but the burgers are ready and ain’t nobody got time for that. It’s time to grub.
Instead of escaping your 4th of July plans, why not escape with us? Book now.
Header image courtesy of Ben Grewell / Flickr